In a stunning game last week, the Florida Panthers were on the road against a hapless Toronto Maple Leafs team which they beat 5-3. More importantly the fans were noted to have been chanting “Fire Wilson” throughout the game. After beginning their chant at the opening puck drop, they were momentarily drowned out a few seconds later by the goal horn sounding behind James Reimer. Though the chanting continued throughout, fans were not optimistic their plan would work. However Leafs GM Brian Burke responded swiftly, firing head coach Ron Wilson just a few days later.
This immediate and decisive decision by Burke has prompted fans from around the league to start chanting to try and rid their team of incompetent coaches, GMs, and sometimes even players. The Lapine's local contact in Philadelphia has reported that fans have already started chanting to trade Ilya Bryzgalov. When our brave reporters managed to catch up with Ilya after the game, they asked him how he felt about the chants, though he didn't answer and instead just stood still looking into the sky while a beach ball blew past him. Similarly in Columbus, all of the fans have chanted “Fire Howson” at their most recent home game, but the 12 of them didn't seem to garner enough attention from ownership.
The exception to this chanting is Montreal as they have been doing it since Randy Cunneyworth took over back in December. Fans have been heard shouting “la femme blonde” and “le haut-parleur hanglish”, which are just a couple of new chants in Habs fans latest attempt to mock their head coach. One Hab fan however had a more positive outlook on their current situation noting that “at least we've won a Stanley Cup or ten since expansion”.
At a press conference regarding the matter, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman addressed the issue, saying they are looking into ways to try and stop this chanting from spreading to fans of other teams. Though he had no plan on how to do this nor method to enforce it he was quick to point fingers at who to blame. “It's all the Canadians' fault” he began before going on to say that Canadians are “pro-violence”. He cited hockey causing the “largest riots he has ever been trampled at” and that “loud pro-military who wears a different stupid suit each week and never lets Ron MacLean talk”. The rest of the press conference was uneventful until the Stanley Cup was brought out for a photo op with the commissioner, provoking boos from everyone in attendance.
Senior Hockey Analyst For The Lapine