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Politics

May 14, 2013

12:40 pm

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has blatantly stepped up efforts to improve relations with U.S. President Barack Obama with the gift of a 2-year old neutered male beaver.

Relations between Harper and Obama have been frosty since Obama was overheard and recorded referring to the Prime Minister as a "large lump" ( ...

May 6, 2013

04:05 pm

Arizona Republican Governor Jan Brewer says her state will not destroy thousands of guns already bought by police in a "Get Guns Off The Street" weapons reduction program as planned.

Instead the State will make a "healthy buck" by selling the turned-in guns at a massive weekend-long Gun Garage Sale at Chase Field in downtown Phoenix.

And the Governor is throwing in a free Stars...

April 14, 2013

11:34 am

It arrived at 24 Sussex Drive in an Ottawa Senators' picnic cooler with a simple note duck-taped to the lid.

"What would you do for a Klondike Bar, Mr Harper?"

After several minutes of panic by heavily-armed RCMP security, the cooler was x-ray scanned and then examined by explosives experts and the PM's food tasters before being taken inside the Prime Minister's official...

April 7, 2013

09:00 am

After repeatedly saying he had "evolved" on same-sex marriage and other issues, the President Of The United States (POTUS) Barack Obama told the Supreme Court Of The United States (SCOTUS) to Buy Into The Evolving United States (BITEUS).

Or else.

With society-shifting issues either before SCOTUS or heading that way, Obama entered the lion's den in Tea Party country and came out...

March 24, 2013

07:29 am

On the heels of passing legislation that will ban all abortions in the state, Republicans have voted to make it illegal to sell or loan any underwear that does not cover at least 50% of the wearer's buttock cheeks.

"Scanty panties are a problem right here in Bismarck," said Republican Governor Jack Dalrymple to reporters at the dedication ceremony for the opening of the late Lawrence...

February 5, 2013

07:45 am

The Crayola Fun 48-Pack With Crayon Sharpener will no longer include the Obama Crayon after public complaints forced the American manufacturer to pull the "half-brown" color.

"Not every black person is as white as the President and this peanut shell crayon just rubs their noses in it," said The Right Revered Reverend Jesse...

January 20, 2013

02:07 pm

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper sent in a music video of himself performing a hip hop version of "My Way" to Saturday Night Live (SNL) with a request to be the show's musical guest but the demo was rejected according to industry leaks.
"I can confirm that we did receive a tape of Mr. Harper playing a mouth organ and shakin' his Prime Ministerial biscuits but really have no further...

December 17, 2012

10:01 am

Diplomatic tensions rose today after a Fox News camera caught President Barack Obama talking to one of his press aides and making some very undiplomatic comments about Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper after the two met briefly at a Washington international benefit event.

As Obama and Media Relations Director Clive Leonard walked away from reporters, the Fox newsfeed clearly picked...

December 15, 2012

12:51 pm

Politicians have rushed to tearfully capitalize off the horrific shooting that left twenty elementary school children dead and helped secure bipartisan support for a symbolic bill to ban water guns. As the political risk of banning real guns is too great politicians are instead trying to lay the blame "where the bad attitude towards guns truly starts." Super Soaker water guns should be...

November 8, 2012

09:38 am

Ultra-conservative commentator Ann Coulter is out-lipping her fellow ultra-conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh in a personal-grudge growing match, according to photos posted on web site BuzzFeed.

"Ann's got this reddish tinged crop of hair coming in but Rush's upper lip is still a bit of a hairless sausage so far," said Wee Willy Graham (no relation to wee Billy Graham).

...