The International Court of Justice in the Hague filed suit in B.C. Supreme Court alleging that a B.C. senior was responsible for countless deaths of Chinese children in the early 1950’s. The Court claims that Sicamous resident, Robert George Moore, did “By failing to eat his Lima Beans, cause thousands of young Chinese to continue to starve.”
ICJ trial spokesperson Alan Dale said, “Mr. Moore showed criminal indifference to the plight of the children despite his (Moore’s) mother’s repeated warnings that he should eat his Lima Beans because children in China were starving. The facts of the case are simple. Mr. Moore refused his Lima Beans. Mr. Moore knew that children in China were starving. Children starved in China.”
Mr. Moore, contacted at his sumptuous 1-bedroom Sicamous B.C. bungalow denied responsibility. “I folded on Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and cauliflower too, and consumed them even though I was grossed out at the time. I did my share for the Chinese kids. Why I am being singled out is a mystery. I know for a fact that Tommy Rapier's mom never made him eat Lima Beans or broccoli yet he is not named in the suit.”
The suit further alleges that Moore’s own children were deprived of Lima Beans throughout their childhood. Mr. Moore has conceded this. Lima Beans were and are still forbidden on the Moore menu despite widespread child hunger in inner city United States.
The suit calls for an abject and contrite apology from Moore and a significant intake of Lima Beans in the years to come. Moore’s long dead mother was unavailable for comment.
Reporting for The Lapine